Find the Coaching in Criticism

Feedback is crucial—but almost everyone, from new hires to C-suite executives, struggles with receiving it. The authors, who have spent 20 years working with managers on difficult conversations, outline six steps that can help you turn feedback into an important, and unthreatening, tool. Know your tendencies. Look for patterns in how you respond. (Do you defend yourself? Do you lash out?) Once you understand your standard operating procedure, you can make better choices about where to go from there. Separate the “what” from the “who.” Your feelings about the messenger might be short-circuiting your ability to learn from the message. Sort toward coaching. Work to hear feedback as well-meant advice, not as an indictment. Unpack the feedback. Resist snap judgments; explore where suggestions are coming from and where they’re going. Request and direct feedback. Don’t wait for a formal review; ask for bite-size pieces of coaching. Experiment. Try following a piece of advice and seeing what happens. Criticism is never easy to take—but learning to pull value from it is essential to your development and success.