"He Mustn't be too Much": Exploring Notions of Internalised Homophobia in Date my Family

Internalised homophobia is central to this article which aims to fully grasp the representation of black gay men on reality television and how it reinforces or reconfigures gender heteronormativity on dating norms within the television medium. Our case study is Date My Family, a popular South African reality dating show, which is explored through the lens of three black gay male participants who took part in the show. Through a discourse analysis, we explore the conversations of three gay men in three separate episodes to interrogate the following. Firstly, how does Date My Family contribute to the conversation on gay identities and dating norms. Secondly, we unpack and identify associations between homophobic comments made on the show and the concept of internalised homophobia which prevails through the comments and mannerisms of the characters. Set against masculinity theories, we explore how black gay masculinities, which are non-normative, function and how the intersectional links that participants on the show embody, being black, gay and aspiring to same-sex partnership, operate to construct their identity and influence the enactment of internalised homophobia. Through this, we are able to illuminate how television can further perpetuate homophobia in the public sphere. Our findings suggest that the comments of the characters on the show allow us to identify how internalised homophobia functions at various levels in the characters' realities, specifically when relating to who they aspire to date.